Saturday, February 26, 2005

Phone hacks: the future of bad publicity stunts.

For those of you that haven't heard or have been too busy masturbating to pictures of their own mother, the self-described T-Mobile Terrorist has struck again. This time his targets were none other than drunken Bush twin Jenna and famous-for-being-a-talentless-loser Fred Durst. Now, the pictures off Jenna's phone look like they have been badly photoshopped, leading me to think that one (at least) was a fake. I can vouch for the veracity of the numbers in Paris's phone book, as I double-checked them against our database here. Since the Secret Service isn't going to bankroll my next album, I can't check out the numbers for Jenna... if I could find them. Apparently the FBI and the SS have shit a collective brick and are bouncing about the interweb shutting down sites showcasing the material like it's Fahrenheit 9/11.

In other news, the FCC is going to be responsible for a lot of up-standing radio jocks going out and committing murder. After all, it's cheaper than saying fuck on the radio. And while I'm perusing Rolling Stone, they have good articles on Sinclaire's Bias and Moveon.Org's ineffectual bid to save the Democrats.

Let's get one thing straight, kids; you cannot expect extremists to win the middle-of-the-road vote. The Neo-Con push is already damaging the Republican morale and they won by a landslide this year! You really think blue collar workers in Scranton are going to 'get out the vote' because of privatizing social security? They are trying to make ends meet now. They aren't focusing on later. For better or worse, those are the people that decide the fate of this country.

If the Democrats want to make a come-back bid, they need a luminary. And pushing Hillary or god-forbid Obama (if you run a first term senator, you will fear my angry emails!) into the '08 slot is just going to make things worse. Although if it really is a Rice vs. Clinton battle, that will be the greatest election in history. I'll quit my job to watch CNN 24-hours a day. Can't you just see someone who has been in a coma for 10 years waking up in =08 and being all "who is president?" "A black woman... who is a republican." Their brain would explode!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Right Wing Ralphie
















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Mark Fiore is an editorial cartoonist and animator whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, the San Francisco Examiner, and dozens of other publications. He is an active member of the American Association of Editorial Cartoonists, and has a web site featuring his work.

Further proof that all fascists are anarchists at heart...

and vice versa. From the LA Times: "On the final leg of his European trip, the president presses his Russian counterpart. Liberty 'is not anarchy,' Putin responds."

I am looking forward to being the fascist dictator of my own anarchy.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

This made my day!

Just when I thought I was going to go outside and take a tire iron to the rain, I got this in the mail.



Ben Moody is to be considered unstable and extremely dangerous to pets and children under 12 lbs. The authorities have been notified, and recommend that he be destroyed ON SIGHT!!!!

This is best done with a huge black dildo.

thank you,
- the management

Who the fuck are you people?

Honestly, I've had this blog forever and a day with a few little blips here and there from Kamilla and myself just babbling back and forth. Now all of a sudden I'm getting comments left, right, and center. That'd be all well and good if a good half of them weren't the most ignorant and hateful misappropriations of the English language (for god sake, use punctuation!) I've seen in quite some time. So my question is... how the holy fuck did you people find my blog? Honestly, if I keep getting these ridiculous comments, I'm restricting posting access to members only.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Paris Hilton Karma

It's old news, but go laugh at Paris anyway.

Do not go gentle into that good night

RIP Hunter S. Thompson.

It's been a long time since something I've read on the net has made me gasp in shock and sadness. You lived and died by your own hand.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Tsunami Relief

First and foremost, 'Forever in our Hearts' goes to radio at the end of the month and will be available on iTunes starting March 1st. Billboard.com just ran an article on it.

In the news of Miss E, I am about to go postal. I just had one of the worst couple of days of my life and what happens? I hit a fucking pothole after some asshole cut me off and I tore a two inch gash in my tire. I was the 17th car to pull into the liquor store (just the liquor store, m ind you not the gas station or just over to the side of the road) with a flat tire from the pot hole... just today! 17 fucking cars! So I am replacing the tire and billing the city for it.

But the shit thing is, the car fell off the jack twice and scratched the rim and I'm worried it fucked up the axle. And even goddamn better is the fact that I was working while it happened. I'm going to have to take a cab home from work.

I want to kick someone in the face. Any volunteers?

Friday, February 18, 2005

Call me a cunt

Being called names by people on the net makes me wet. Seriously. It get s a little puddle going on down in the panties.

I got this comment today. It makes me wonder just how it is that we can get so worked up at someone else's opinions via such a faceless medium that we react by childish measures? Why is it so common on the internet to be both utterly superiour (My IQ is 1339) and childish (bitch) in a single post? Is it the facelessness of the medium?

Here is my analogy: Image we are all sitting in a restaurant. As I'mm sipping my diet coke and nibbling on my garlic bread, I'm discussing an article I read about the average IQ of a Bush voter. I'm not whispering, just conversing at a normal level. Obviously, people who happen to be seated around us can overhear our conversation. And out of nowhere, another diner walks up and sys "well, you self-hating goth freak child, my IQ is 139 and I voted for Bush. Bitch." WOuld that ever happen? No. Because we'd laugh in his face about how ridiculous and pathetic of a comment it was on somethinat that didn't concern him.

But on the Net, such things are typical. Man, the Net cracks me up.

And now I'm off to dinner to test my theory.