Saturday, April 30, 2005

Drunk People and Nut Gobblers

You know what pisses me off? You know, when you're having a conversation with someone, and for some reason, you get on a particular topic. In this case, let's say... the topic is... nuts. Don't you hate how the other person usually has to make some dumbass sexual comment creating some kind of lame-ass pun based on your legitimate topic of conversation? Let's say you say something like "I'm not sure I like those nuts, they leave a weird taste in my mouth." Then the other person, in usual dumb ass fashion, just has to say something like "Uhh, you don't like the nuts in your mouth? Hehehe." And then he or she giggles like an idiot for a half hour because they think they made a clever joke out of your topic of conversation. These people need to be killed! I'm sick and tired of people warping simple topics into something perverted. And God forbid if you're a woman who gets caught up in some kind of twisted wordplay like this. Before you know it, everyone at school or work is getting on your back because you made a comment about a large ball. It's unnecessary, it's stupid, and it just shows that you're thinking with your sexual organs rather than your brain. This being the case, someone should glue your mouth to your butt, so they may illustrate the fact that you truly, indeed, suck ass.

Next topic; drunk people! You know, the type of asshole who always has to get shitfaced on the weekend and go staggering around, patting you on the back like you're his best friend, when all you really want him to do is get in his car and drive home recklessly. I'm sick and tired of some incoherent asshole who smells like a case of malt liquor all of a sudden talking about the philosophy of life while trying to pick up some woman at a bar. Nice. And what's worse, those fucking dolts who go around and actually tell you how fucked up they got the night before; like they deserve some type of award for falling face first into a patch of tomatoes in your backyard at four AM in the morning. And don't forget, (in mocking voice) "friends don't let friends drive drunk." Screw that! As far as I'm concerned, give 'em the keys rev up the engine, and let 'em go sailing home with a bottle of taquila in their lap. One of three things will happen. 1: The cops will pull them over and end up having to beat the shit out of them, just because this fucker is in a drunken rage and refuses to turn off Neil Diamond's "They're Coming to America". Number 2: They'll wrap themselves around a telephone pole and either be killed or paralyzed. Cruel, you say? Well, so is inflicting your drunken stupidity on the rest of the world, so be ready to pay the consequences. Asshole. Scenario number 3, my least favorite: They make it home okay and pass out on the lawn with their motor running, while the radio is blasting some dumbass metal song from the mid-80's that no one wants to hear anymore. But at least it gives 'em a chance to try again next week.

So if you're a drunken moron or an idiot who has to manipulate legitimate conversations to get a cheap thrill for your libido, please feel free to get together with one another on the weekends, drive around drunk, make all the twisted sexual comments you like. And I'll just watch from the local diner window as they scrape your body off the pavement with a fucking spatula. Get out of our fucking lives, your moronic assholes. Your existence is useless, and you're dragging down the collective intelligence of humanity. (mocking voice) Don't like what I have to say? (/mocking voice) Here's the keys and a bottle of Jack Daniels. I'll see you tomorrow. But hopefully not.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Vaccine that will prevent cancer? Fuck that, we don't want it!

DEATHS from cervical cancer could jump fourfold to a million a year by 2050, mainly in developing countries. This could be prevented by soon-to-be-approved vaccines against the virus that causes most cases of cervical cancer - but there are signs that opposition to the vaccines might lead to many preventable deaths.

The trouble is that the human papilloma virus (HPV) is sexually transmitted. So to prevent infection, girls will have to be vaccinated before they become sexually active, which could be a problem in many countries.

In the US, for instance, religious groups are gearing up to oppose vaccination, despite a survey showing 80 per cent of parents favour vaccinating their daughters. "Abstinence is the best way to prevent HPV," says Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council, a leading Christian lobby group that has made much of the fact that, because it can spread by skin contact, condoms are not as effective against HPV as they are against other viruses such as HIV.

"Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful, because they may see it as a licence to engage in premarital sex," Maher claims, though it is arguable how many young women have even heard of the virus.

Meanwhile in developing countries, where 80 per cent of deaths from cervical cancer occur, social taboos may be even more powerful. The head of the Indian Council of Medical Research, N. K. Ganguly, says it will take a big educational effort to convince parents. Vaccinating men could be the best way to prevent the spread of HPV among women.

HPV is extremely common. Half of all sexually active women between 18 and 22 in the US are infected. Most cases clear up, but sometimes infection persists and can cause cancer decades later.

Deaths in the west have plummeted thanks to widespread screening to detect cancers early. But such screening is not widely available in developing countries. In many, populations are ageing: in India the number of women over 60 is projected to rise from 40 million now to 168 million in 2050. The International Agency for Research on Cancer in Lyon, France, calculates that by then deaths from cervical cancer will reach a million a year in poor countries if rates of infection, and of cancer detection and treatment, do not improve.

While vaccination could slash infection rates, its cancer-preventing benefits will not be evident for decades, as it will take that long for vaccinated girls to reach an age when they might otherwise have developed cancer. Meanwhile, millions of women who are already infected must be screened and treated. If there is widespread resistance to vaccination, it will take even longer for its benefits to become clear.

Vaccines are producing good results in clinical trials, and the first could be licensed as early as next year. GlaxoSmithKline announced in November 2004 that its vaccine, which contains two strains of HPV thought to cause 70 per cent of cervical cancers, had prevented 90 per cent of new infections and all persistent infections. The US-based firm Merck announced similar results last week with its vaccine, which contains the same two cancer-causing HPV strains plus two strains that cause genital warts.

Merck's official reason for including the warts strains is that they can confuse screening tests, leading to unnecessary scares. But another reason, says Anne Szarewski of the charity Cancer Research UK, who is helping to organise one of the vaccine trials, is that men who get vaccinated to prevent disfiguring warts will no longer transmit the cancer-causing strains to women. That might be the key to getting vaccines accepted in cultures where trying to prevent sexually transmitted infections is equated with promiscuity.

"We found that some Asian women in Britain are afraid even to get tested for HPV infection, because they say if it is positive they will be killed, never mind that their husbands probably gave it to them," says Szarewski. She feels that such attitudes may mean that HPV vaccination may be a non-starter in such communities.

Greg Zimet of Indiana University in Indianapolis is more optimistic. His surveys in the US show parents overwhelmingly favour getting their daughters vaccinated. "Doctors tend to fear the worst," he says.

But some problems have already surfaced. India is planning to do its own clinical trials, but will not test the vaccine in young girls. "This is not possible until around the age of marriage in India," Ganguly says.

Once licensed, the vaccine should be given to younger girls, he says. "But people will say 'My girl is very virtuous, why vaccinate?' It will be a real challenge, not like other vaccines."

Last but not least is the cost. Ganguly is trying to arrange for an HPV vaccine to be produced cheaply in India. But there are fears India's new patent laws will make licensing deals difficult.

From New Scientist News

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Pope Nazi the Second

For those who haven't heard, the Roman Catholic church elected my favorite hardline ratfink Cardinal, Joseph Ratzinger, to be the new Pope. Zieg Hail, Pope Benedict XVI!

The national news media seems to be aware of the irony of replacing a Polish Pope who sought to restablish ties with the Jewish world with a Germal Cardinal-cum-Pope with Nazi training but no one will make the joke outright. His Nazi ties are small, conspiracy theorists, so don't fret... about that anyway.

In his memoirs, he wrote of being enrolled in Hitler's Nazi youth movement against his will when he was 14 in 1941, when membership was compulsory. He says he was soon let out because of his studies for the priesthood.

Two years later, he was drafted into a Nazi anti-aircraft unit as a helper, a common fate for teenage boys too young to be soldiers. Enrolled as a soldier at 18, in the last months of the war, he barely finished basic training.

- From the Guardian


I would like to point out, however, that membership was compulsory and if you were a young man in Germany at that time, chances are you bought the line and joined up willingly. If he figured out later that killing... oh.... everyone else was a bad and morally wrong thing to do, admit it. But don't say you didn't inhale, bro.

He is, however, a Catholic who is a doctrinal hard-liner (unlike the Benedict before him who sought a reunion with his Christian bretheren. Probably why he took the name, to soften his image.) He was the scripting intellect behind much of John Paul II's moves so he will likely continue in that direction but likely it will be a much more dictitatorial and traditionalist bent. Ratzinger is famous for resisting liberal reforms and punishing dissidents as the head of Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. (That's the new name for the Holy Inquisition for all of you who aren't up on your Roman Catholic officies and officials.) "Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the church is often labeled today as a fundamentalism. Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along by every wind of teaching, looks like the only attitude acceptable to today's standards." - from his Monday speech.

So expect a pontificate that is more reserved and not seeking the same harmony with the world that John Paul did. The likelihood that he will seek real congress with the Muslim world is slim. He will definetly continue the stricter doctrines of John Paul's reign and will halt the progressive reforms that made JPII famous.

At least they didn't elect Jorge Arturo Medina Estivez or any of the other crazy South American cardinals because they are all psychotically evil. Don't get me wrong, I want a minority pope like I want a Grammy... but their histories make Ratzingers brush with Nazism look like a waltz with Claire Danes.

Whine on!

Reposted from dalykos.

Tue Apr 19th, 2005 at 14:15:32 PDT


DeLay sent a rambling, 2,500-word screed to his constituents explaining away his troubles. The blame, of course, was on Democrats and the evil media.



CAP breaks down the email, by the numbers:

0: References to DeLay ally and corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff


25: Number of times the email portrays DeLay opponents as "partisan" or politically-motivated


0: References to high-profile criticisms from the Wall Street Journal, David Brooks, Newt Gingrich, Bob Dole, Reps. Christopher Shays and Tom Tancredo, and at least ten conservative ex-congressmen


4: Number of times the email claims that the media is treating him unfairly.


4: Number of times the same email quotes major media sources to purportedly bolster DeLay's case.


4: References to Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle as "partisan"


12: Number of Democrats prosecuted by Earle during his 27 year career


3: Number of Republicans prosecuted by Earle


6: References to the fact that former Rep. Chris Bell (D-TX) was found to have violated procedural rules when he included inflammatory language in his formal complaint against DeLay


0: References to the fact that the Ethics Committee accepted Bell's complaint because "it also contained allegations that warranted Committee consideration."


2538: Total number of words


1273: Words devoted to complaining about other people's conduct



Also nothing in the letter about "personal responsibility".

And for those of you that haven't yet seen it

I'm now a blonde. I feel stupider already. If I hadn't left in some black, I might have started believing in god. At least I'm not getting that lobotomy so I can be a Bush supporter. Higher Brain Functions = gone. Xenophobic patrotism = revving into the 5,000 RPMs!!!!













Maybe I'll get off my ass and write my rant about the fall of the American Empire. Bombs... probably not. The Euro taking out our economic stranglehold on the globe? I think so!

While I'm doing that just remember, Miss E died for your sins.

Fuck the Boston Fuck Fest

So, Real Sex is just about the greatest show ever, as far as I'm concerned. I often watch it at the studio when I'm closing down. And this past week they had an episode about the Boston Amateur Porn Film Awards thing. And it had all these just... ridiculous porns. And it's not like "Mary Jane Takes It Up The Poop Shoot From Her Jack Russell Terrier" or "Misty Boobykins Gets Banged 'Tween The Boobs By Her Boss, Brutus Cockleman" or even "Slutty McWhoredom Goes Down On The Titstanic... And Then The Ship Sinks" ridiculous.

No, it's over-thought, over-intellectualized, bullshit Boston porn. Like some Harvard bint who did a musical porn with these flowers and this strawberry betting spanked and going into a fantasy world where it was okay and blah blah blah. IT IS MOTHERFUCKING PORNOGRAPHY, PEOPLE! WALK YOUR ASS OUT OF KILLIAN HALL AND JUMP INTO THE CHARLES RIVER! GET A LIFE! AND A GIRLFRIEND!

Now don't get me wrong. I think porn can be art and there is some erotic art that is museum worthy in the extreme. But my problem with Boston people is they take their goddamn intellectual pretension too fucking far. My problem with this shit is the same one I had with the entirety of the Emerson Film department. This whole fest is filled with kids who think the very definition of a smart and poignant film is a clown flipping a pancake in slow-motion while weeping over some slow song sung by a sultry French songstress from the 1940s shot on grainy black and white 8mm in a rotting New York apartment. "It speaks to the plight of the common man!" No, it fucking doesn't. It's fucking over-thought, under-whelming, uninspired bullshit art school pretension.

Yes, I live in the porn capital of the world. Yes, I am surrounded by people who couldn't even spell subtlety, let alone practice it. But god in fucking heaven, it is a nice change from the utterly infuriating intellectual chicanery practiced by my home state. I really, seriously can't take the "what would Dosteyvsky do" crowd anymore. Because for all of LA's flash and glitter and plastic surgery, it's way more real than Boston. At least here people are only pretending to be something more in the wallet than they really are. I hate people who lie about their intellect and force feed their unfounded opinions down your throat without taking a second to look around and realize the world is not like it says it is in AltMedia or on FOX News (this rant and all my others nonwithstanding, of course). It is somewhere in between.

Maybe the psychotic right did have something with their "liberal elite" line of shit. Maybe, just maybe, we should reevaluate ourselves as intellectuals and people before we get up on our high horse and start tearing into the South and the Midwest for being a bunch of knuckle-dragging, cousin-fucking, moonshine-swilling, wife-beating, NASCAR-loving, xenophobic, monosyllabic, racist, brain-dead motherfuckers who wouldn't know a valid political issue from an issue of playboy if it danced naked in front of them to David Allen Coe. I mean, they are, but they have some valid points about us, if you can get them to spit out the chewing tobacco long enough to enunciate clearly.

And on a separate note, is everyone in Massachusetts polyamorus (or at least was at one time)? It's the extreme cold. We need orgies to stay warm.

Man, fuck Massachusetts. Give me brain dead LA any fucking day of the week.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Haiku of the Day

The Pope is a corpse.
Holy dead pontiff, Batman!
I'm trying to care.

-mfdc

Monday, April 04, 2005

Booksies

Yay, I sort of remembered... but I don't really remember what all I read though...

Books

- Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee, I feel Sick, Filler Bunny, Revenege of Filler Bunny by Johnen Vaquez: I went on a comic book rampage this month. All of Jhonens stuff is good, even the Bad Art Collection. Buy it all, you know you wanna.

- Sandman: Preludes and Noctures, The Doll's House, Dream Country, Seasons of Mists, the Dream Hunters: As we all (should) know, Neil Gaiman is god and Sandman is by FAR his best work. Another shut up and buy it.

- Harry Potter 1-5 by Jk Rowling: I love the Potterverse more than life in and of itself. Read them already, you fags. It is addictive. I know. I hated them passionately until I actually read them.

- Cagebird by Karen Lowachee: Because Eponine would have my head if I didn't read it... It was good. I hated Warchild and liked Burndive. I can't decide if I like this one more or less than that. I love Yuri and I love how she writes him. I just wish it was a longer book. It felt rushed. And it's annoyed the piss out of me that for three books straight we've gotten like 15 seconds farther into what the fuck happened when the first book let up. (Read it and you'll see what I mean.) Still, I enjoyed it and there is copious gay boiage which makes any book great in my... um... book.


Movies:

Some Kind of Monster: If you love and or hate Metallica... god, its just so hard for me to watch. I love that band and they are so LAME now! Its definetly an interesting documentary, especially as an ex-die-hard fan and music industry lackey. Don't pay money to see it. Borrow it from your friends. It's worth the watch but it'll leave you depressed for the state of rock and roll after. AGGRO, YOU FUCKS! YOU'VE LOST IT!

Ahem...

Collateral: I wasn't expecting a lot from this, as the trailers looked really lame. But I forgot that Michael Mann is god and is incapable of doing a bad movie. It's excellent, it'll keep you glued to your seat even if you can figure out where it's going from the first five minutes. The acting is quite good and like all Mike films, it's lovely. Watch it. You'll be surprised.

My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding: I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and was truly dissapointed. It was cliche, it was trite, and it was homely much like the lead character. Half of the characters (including NSYNC boy) were bad Italian stereotypes (Greek my Greek ass) and it was just... boring, trite, and cliche. It's watchable but don't bother unless it's on tv and there is nothing else on.

I've been too busy to rercreate. Off to code.