Evil Schmeevil

I have decided that being a Super Villain is acceptable. Evil Overlord is, of course, the over-arching goal. But I'll be pleased with just Super Villain status for at least a decade or so.

And just so I don't get any of the stupid "do that mean ur a terr-rist?" comments, let me clarify - a Super Villain has elaborate and implausible plans to take over the world (like my plan to put prozac in the nation’s milk supply and make everyone docile and also possibly lactose intolerant) that get close to succeeding then fail spectacularly without any damage aside from some dead minions and some minor explosions. These elaborate plan-to-failure sequences must be carried out on at least a bi-monthly if not weekly basis. That is a Super Villain. (A regular villain gets a less demanding schedule but fewer minions and a smaller budget for important things like fortresses inside hollowed out volcanoes and such. They usually have to become a subsidiary of said Super Villain just to make ends meet. Can you imagine the A/C bill for a hollowed out volcano?)

An Evil Overlord is a Super Villain whose plot for world domination was actually possible. An Evil Overlord is concerned with keeping their iron rule over humanity comfortably crushing while occasionally taking time out to entertain one's self with amusing displays such as making the Hero and his Best Friend fight to the death or having elaborate Olympic-like games in which a lot of people fight to the death or playing a chess match to the death but making sure you cheat so you always win or having a large feast in the middle of a famine and maybe making some serf’s fight to the death while you eat your meringue. Additionally, an Evil Overlord must always obey the rules of the Evil Overlord List, whereas a Super Villain must always break the rules and monolog, monolog, monolog.

And while I am on the subject, when I create my slow-moving and easily-escapable death machine for any wayward heroes, I will work on a new design. Instead of one of the slowly shrinking rooms with the big metal spikes, I'll create a slowly shrinking room with big clear plexi-glass spikes (on one side, at least) so I can sit and watch. Because there is nothing more aggravating to heroes when you watch their impending doom from a lay-z-boy whilst stuffing your face with popcorn.
I wonder if I took out an ad in the classifieds for minions, would I get a response? I need to work on that nefarious lair bit so I have a place to put all my minions... that would be neat